Do Black Fathers Get a Bad Rap?

I don't know but for some reason what Obama said about Black Fathers has stuck with me. I had a conversation with a friend and she opened up to me indicating that the reason she was “wild” back in high school was because of her poor rapport with her father. She spoke of the lack of communication and lack of emotional support. While on the train I heard a loud, flamboyant young man blaming his homosexuality on his father. Now I'm a father of three, I have literally been with them since birth and on occasions I even get blamed for not investing more time with them.

The recent pinch that America has been feeling is what many African American males have been feeling for years...I would like to take this moment to thank the Bush Administration for allowing the rest of Americans to get a glimpse of the “black experience”. I often tell my wife that I've never been a father or husband before, therefore this is an “on the job learning experience”. Not to say that I didn't have an example...my father was there but no one is perfect. I hear people speak of slavery and indicate that's it's over and to just let it go. I see Black Fathers who do just that everyday despite the daily obstacles that many of us encounter. We still hold back the pain and reach deep down inside to be a little bit stronger for the ones we love. As my high school history teacher used to say, “nothing is absolute”...the longer I live I understand more and more how true that statement really is for there are black fathers that shun their responsibilities.

As children we all have aspirations to be great and to do great things but when do those dreams fade? Dreams fade when society continuously tells you that you're a failure and diminish or steal what you create. You begin to believe that you are “an endangered species” and the stereotypes. Now I'm assuming that it is easier for a father with a Lexus to provide for his child than it is for a father pushing a stroller on public transportation....but we don't hear those stories...and don't hit me with that Chris Rock shit....that's what's father supposed to do! In America there are a slew of things that should be done that are not. Black Fathers appreciate and need acknowledgment...Black families as a whole are still feeling the lasting impression of slavery..in short we all are still figuring it out.

Maybe my friend's father could have spent more time with her? Maybe the father of the guy on the train could have invested more time with him? And maybe I could do more with my children? But what can society do for Black men besides give them a bad rap?

Rollie